Yes, you stupid bloody man! I didn't want to be around anyone for almost the entire summer! More than that, I didn't pick up a writing utensil for months! I felt like my skin was crawling off of my body. I was afraid I would look in the mirror and no longer see myself, only see Him. I was petrified!

The only reason I got through anything I did was because my parents did not let me run away. They made sure I was surrounded by my family, my brothers. They made sure I didn't have a choice in the matter. They saved my life, and you didn't bloody let me save yours! That's our job for each other, Neville Longbottom. We save each other. We used to save each other.

Maybe not reading your letters would be easier. I might understand why you didn't, now.

He left.

Draco just left.

Blaise's mother is dead and he just left.

The house feels empty. I'm going back to the clinic. I need to stock the potions in the rooms.

I can't believe he just left, just like Nev

Date: 9.7.2008
Patient: 900183274 Aubrey van Andel and 900395293 Dominic Andrew van Andel
Reason for visit: Birth
Outcome: Success
Healer Notes: Pt 900183274 delivered a healthy baby, pt 900385293, at 13:01 on September seventh, 2003. The child arrived five weeks before expected due date, but showed no signs of ill health. Both pt stayed overnight in clinic for observation. Well-baby and Well-woman exam will be suggested in one months time, to check on health of both child and mother.
Healer: GW

They found  Someone else

They found who supplied the poison to Crabbe. They found them and they're in custody. The person that made that poison and gave it to Crabbe. Did they know what he planned to do with it? Were they there when he changed into Charlie and left to kill me? When will I know who it is? What kind of sentence could it carry?

No sleep tonight. Only questions.

Found out something I didn't need to know this last week. Pushed the issue and made Blaise tell me.

Is there a potion to rid your mind of something you know? I think there is. I'm seriously considering it.

I'm not quite sure what to do with the information that Draco slept with Blaise's mum. When he was sixteen. I don't know why this is... Maybe it's because he was young and she was older? Or... I get the feeling that she thinks of him like a son.

Yes. That's got to be it. She thinks of him as a son... that she slept with... when he was still underage.

It's not making me look at Draco any different, really. I mean, yes, when he says "mother fucker" anytime soon, I might giggle until I hyperventilate, but I'm not really thinking bad on him for it. I mean... he doesn't like it that I slept with Harry. I'm sort of weirded out that he slept with Blaise's mum. I guess that makes us even. Sort of.

Maybe not.

Here's hoping for a week that won't have be finding out information I didn't want to know about my boyfriend.

I just shuddered again. Ridiculous.

I'm sore. And tired. They're both good things very good things but they are proving a bit difficult for me to get up in the morning and go to the convention. I'm almost out of pepper-up potions, and we've only been here three days. It's pretty ridiculous when I have trouble rolling out of bed for a meeting that's in the hotel we're staying at. I don't even have to travel. I just have to get up, take a shower and get dressed, and then go downstairs.

I've been late to a few discussions. I blame Draco. Of course, whenever I say something like that, he just grins at me smugly and says 'Well, you asked for it when you decided to bring me.'

I suppose I did.

I'm not complaining, per se... I just feel...

Alright. I feel deliriously happy. But sore. And tired.

Draco's still asleep. He doesn't have anything to do while I'm downstairs talking about new procedures for healing wounds and a new potion that helps level out fevers. I don't feel bad though. He's been reading a bit. I think he might have taken a walk about Salem a bit too. There really are a lot of neat things to look at here. The witch museum was laughable, to say the least. Interesting, though. Sad, too.

I have to actually get up and take a shower, but I have a feeling that when I start the water, I won't be taking the shower alone...

Two days. Two days and I leave for America. Two days and the clinic will be left in Neville, Blaise, and Susan's hands.

I don't think I can do this.

I'm excited about spending time with Draco, don't get me wrong. Being away from everyone, and just being with him is..

It's not that. That's the good part. The bad part is that I'll be leaving the clinic. Leaving. Gone. Unable to simply apparate if there's an emergency.

Blaise and Neville are going to be there all alone, with only Susan to buffer. I told her she could do anything in her power to make sure the place doesn't blow up, but I'm not sure it'll help.

Dammit.

I can't think about them killing each other. They're going to be fine. I know it. I trust them. I trust them.

I trust them, right? I do. I trust them. I do.

I need to pack.

I've done some thinking. I was concerned at my family's lack of a reaction to the announcement about me dating Draco, but the more I think about it, the more I think they might have just been in shock. It's obviously something I kind of sprung it on them. It was stupid of me to do it like I did, and I see that now. I should have talked to them one on one.. told my parents separately, then the rest of the family.

Not to mention I haven't even heard from Draco in almost a week and a half. Those stinted owls... I don't know if it'll even matter anymore. I might have told them all about him, and now he'll never want to see me agai